when I was 9...(baring in mind that I'm now 29 and this is still a vivid memory)....it was a lunchtime at school and I'd wolfed down my lunch and accompanying drink as soon as the bell had rang so I could get on with more pressing matters - playing "skilly".

For those that don't come from wigan (that'll be all of ya I presume ) "skilly" involves the nomination of a lamppost as being "home base". The group of kids then split into two groups, one defence, one attack. The object of the game is for as many of the attacking group as possible to touch the homebase without being "ticked" (touched) by the defence.

Now this is a lunchtime, an hour long break, were Skilly really gets strategic. The entire attacking team bomb off in different directions and hide, waiting for the majority of the defence to come looking for them. Then one by one the attackers scurry around from hiding place to hiding place gradually getting closer to the base. I was good at this game...especially the hiding bit (because i was the smallest) so I dove off to my "prime" hiding spot - the side of the school...an area that you weren't supposed to go to as it was pushing the boundaries of the playground.

So I hid. And I watched the base. And I waited. One by one my team mates got picked off. But the couldn't find me. I was loving it. Grinning to myself with glee, I held off for at least half an hour.

Now by this time my lunch had started to digest and I was beginning to want the loo. But I wanted to hide more. So I waited....and waited....and started to clinch my legs together...and waited some more. Eventually I could take it no more....I needed a p*ss....but I couldn't reveal my prime hiding spot...no way...this place has had them all guessing for at least six months. What do I do? I do what anyone else would have done. I nipped a little further down the side of the school, unzipped and leaked against the wall.

With a satisfied grin on my face I zipped back up again and headed back to my hiding spot...only to walk straight into the headmaster. I don't remember what he said, but it was something like "how dare you urinate on the school"..."I didn't sir, I don't know what you're talking about"...."do I look like a fool boy?"..."no sir, but I don't know what you're talking about" (now looking guilty as sin). It was at this point that he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me back to my leaking spot...."THIS!" he shouted..."not mine", I pleaded..."Look boy, LOOK!" he shouted pointing over to a facing window....

....my jaw dropped....to my horror, the entire staff room were waving at me, some stifling laughter, others looking cross as hell. "Oh" is about as much as I could muster.

I don't know which was more embarrassing...that single moment of horrible realisation that the entire staffroom had watched me p*ss on the school....or the fact that the next morning at 9am, I had to stand up in front of the entire school in assembly (about 300 kids) and not only confess to my "crime", but then have to pull down my trousers in front of them and receive 20 cane lashes on the arse.

And the say that they should bring back the cane....??...

so there ya go...Gromit's most embarrassing moment....Humiliation...and humorous to many...

Ah way back in 1983, my first maint. job, I was given a door lock to repair. I went in, took out the screws an started working on it. They said it would stick. Well inserted the lock part and tired to pu the inside handle on as the door closed. Well the lock part fell out on the outside of the door and I had the handle on my side. The striker bolt was jambed and I could not get it open. So I got on the phone and called the leasing office and asked if one of the ladies could come down and put the lock back in and let me out. They said they were too busy and why didn't I just go out the back door......

i was four years old my dad was working on our old pontiac i climbed in when he wasn't watching and pulled the gear shift in to neutral the car rolled backwards into this very old hemlock tree when it hit it tore the passenger side door clean off it's not a joke it really happened

time flies, time to clip it's wings

They caned you Grom? Bastards. It was probably a religious school wasn;t it?

nope, all schools did that

Ahh I think I've told this one before but it's such a pearler of a story I'll tell it again. It happened about 6 - 8 years ago I guess and is quite possibly the most prime example of brain lapse in human history.

I was out shopping in a dept store for mothers day, and I thought me ma might enjoy a bit of crap from the china/plate dept. So I had a bit of a hunt around and came across this sugar bowl type thing. Now expecting the price to be on the base of the thing I tipped it upside down. Of course sugar bowls usually have lids and this one had the audacity to fall off onto the carpeted floor for a safe landing. Breathing a sigh of relief I picked up the lid and placed it back onto the bowl. This time I was a bit wiser and fastened my hand around the lid and the base and went for a second look for the price tag.

This time I was not so fortunate, whereby the lid slipped out from my death grip and took an arching leap into a stack of plates below, shattering the first two in the stack. I stood there quite dumbfounded while the sales clerk quickly rushed over to offer some assistance. I retrieved the lid once more (which had miraculously survived another fall) and decided to cut my losses.

I placed the lid back on the bowl and went to put it back on the shelf with one hand wrapped around the base. Due to the embarrassment of the moment, my hands were gittering like a 13 year old on a first date and once again (you guessed it) the lid slipped off, plummeted back down into the stack of plates, shattering the next two in line, bounced off and landed, with the precision of an Olympic high diving champion, right into a crystal vase. Both lid and vase did not survive the collision. I stood there with the blood drained from my face, until the sales clerk said it would probably be best if I left. I curtly accepted her offer and made haste for the closest exit.

But of course no embarrassing moment is complete without a mate who standing close by pissing himself laughing and who brings said incident at random moments to make sure I never forget it.


Edited by - Mustang on 6/19/2004 1:54:36 AM

this was in year 6 at primary school, i called the teacher mum. i have another story buts not funny. was in year 2, same school, the teacher was reading us a story and i badly needed the loo, she wouldnt let me go, so i did the only thing i could do. i filled my pants

This didn't happen to me but to one of my friends. We were on our way to a wide game at night with the scouts and he'd been trying to wind me up all evening. So while we were walking to this wooded area, he thought it would be a great idea to nick my beanie and run off with it. So he disappears ahead of us into the darkness laughing his head off. Next thing we hear is this huge thump and an "ugh" noise, so we all run up ahead to see what had happened. When we caught up it was everyone else laughing their arses off!
He'd been running so fast in the darkness he hadn't seen a long low gate designed to stop cars coming up the track, it was at perfect crotch level and he'd run so fast into it he'd thrown himself over it!

haha, gromit got caught with his pants down

my most vivid recollection is calling my teacher mum. however, i remember in year six, we were playing hide and seek, and one of my friends ran straight into the flag pole. yup. he didn't want to walk for a week, and he almost broke his nose. i'm sure the males out there all sympathise with him. there was a bit of a crunch apparently

this one happened just last week.
At lunchtime sometimes, me and my mates play hackey sack. but in the winter, the sun is lower and gets in our eyes and sometimes we miss where we're kicking. what happend, was that i had recieved i nice easy shot to hit. however, my mate steve had been blinded by the glare and thought i was a little to the left. long story short, his foot ended up square in my wing-dang-doodle. i dropped to the ground like a sack of s*** and immediatley started to piss my laughing, and leading steve to think he had pemanently injured me, at least until i got up and and he could see the massive grin on my face.

It probably not as bad as what my mates did to my friend joe. He got drunk and passed out, so my friends ment to work with shaving cream, a razor, a permanent marker, and after shave. use your imagination on that one
-:-
Vi

@esky - nope just a bog-standard primary school. About 9 months to a year later, they banned caning in schools throughout England...I was just unfortunate in my timing.

Well... this happened not so long ago, i was in the UK, London, with my mum, dad and little sister. It was acctually on Madame Tussauds, and we just came out from the place, thinking it was very, very short. Outside is this souvenir shop, and i take up this cup. It slips out of my hands, fall over a stack of four others and voíla , domino! It was 3 or 4 more stacks... there i stand and look like a idiot

Edited by - Orillion.net on 6/20/2004 10:10:30 AM

Edited by - Orillion.net on 6/20/2004 10:11:04 AM

Edited by - Orillion.net on 6/20/2004 12:36:15 PM

Well I was probably too young to be embarresd. It was when I was 2, and me and the family just got back from grocery shopping in our blue family van(actually now that I think about it I'm quite happy this happened). Well everyone left me alone in the car. So i'm like hey, I wanna drive the car. I climn over in the driver's area and I use the gear shift to climb up into the seat. Well we live on a big hill it's about 50 yards high, and slopes down at about an 70 degree angle and has some trees around the hill about midway down and a couple more near the top by a fence the goes around the top of the hill. So when I pulled the gear shift it went into neutral and starts rolling for the old wooden fence backwards. Goes right through it and smashes into a tree(this stopped the van), of course the trunk is open and my sbilings and mom were unloading groceries. The groceries go flying out and straight into a ditch at the bottom of the hill. Of course I didn't know what the f*ck was happening because I was 2, but if I were older I would've been like OH S*IT!! Alls I can vividly remember is seeing my brother in the ditch picking up some cans of Crush. Kind of reminds me of the time I nearly rode my bike off the hill or the time when I went sledding down the hill. Oh at the bottom of the hill is a drop off into the ditch that's about4 feet high. The best part is that I was 2 so I didn't get into trouble

my last day at school, well my last day at my last school, peeps are signing all over me with markers, a tradition. anyways this girl comes up to me and says. 'can i draw a G-string on you ? ' i'm like wtf is a G string? - yeah my vocab is still filled with holes like that. anyways she gets down starts drawing on my ass and i'm like wtf? she finishes and i'm like wtf?..

coupla guys put 'kick me' on my back and an er.. enlarged chest on the front.