Sun Apr 25, 2004 12:21 pm
Nameless story
Well I got bored (again) so I started writing a story, but I am uncertain whether to turn it into a TLR story or a 'normal' story.
Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated
As darkness fell over the small planet known as earth, something happened. No-one can be entirely sure what, but it was certainly catastrophic. It is uncertain who fired the first shot, but in a matter of minutes, a large number of ICBM’s were flying towards pre-ordained targets across the world.
A shady character emerged from the shadows, and looked around at the devastation left by mankind’s most powerful weapons. Very few things over a metre tall were left standing and those that were seemed only to be precariously balanced, as though even the smallest tremor could send them falling to the ground. Here and there were huge craters, caused by flying debris, and the ground was covered in scorch-marks left by the firestorm that had ensued. Many had died, but some had survived, either through luck or careful calculation…
Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated
As darkness fell over the small planet known as earth, something happened. No-one can be entirely sure what, but it was certainly catastrophic. It is uncertain who fired the first shot, but in a matter of minutes, a large number of ICBM’s were flying towards pre-ordained targets across the world.
A shady character emerged from the shadows, and looked around at the devastation left by mankind’s most powerful weapons. Very few things over a metre tall were left standing and those that were seemed only to be precariously balanced, as though even the smallest tremor could send them falling to the ground. Here and there were huge craters, caused by flying debris, and the ground was covered in scorch-marks left by the firestorm that had ensued. Many had died, but some had survived, either through luck or careful calculation…
pSYCHO, in your first line, don't use "something happened." It's a lifeless statement that doesn't offer anything descriptive nor does it emote any thought as to where the story will go. Replace it with something of more substance. Otherwise, the story is a good start. 