what do ya guys think?

Tue Mar 02, 2004 11:24 am by Leonhart

Today I tried my hand on writing love poem to this beautiful angel that I know. I did not show it to her, as I am not sure how does it sound. So I decided to ask some of poets here for an opinion. Plz no jokes, I am serious about this, so leave crap posts out of here.

You are something special
The way you look
The way you talk
The way you walk

Your smooth silky skin
Your soft hair, softer than cloud
Your warm lips that I so much desire
Your lips warmer than fire

Your beauty makes me nervous
And your smile takes my breath
Your look is radical
You are something magical

EDIT
Fixed. I think its much better now

Edited by - Leonhart on 3/2/2004 11:34:55 AM

Edited by - Leonhart on 3/2/2004 11:51:24 AM

Tue Mar 02, 2004 11:24 am by Gowserpaul

Tue Mar 02, 2004 11:27 am by [steel]

i know it rhymes but lips and sapphire not good
sapphire = cold hard and not of very high value plus the main reason they are blue not the best colour to associate with lips im afraid
otherwise ok

Tue Mar 02, 2004 12:13 pm by Chips

Its good - but i just cannot help giving it a "lymeric beat" on the last verse.........

Your beauty makes me nervous
And your smile takes my breath
Your look is radical........
You're something magical
I keep looking at your chest!

That should win her over

Edited by - Chips on 3/2/2004 12:13:50 PM

Tue Mar 02, 2004 12:17 pm by Leonhart

lol, I like your version.

I am listening to rock right now, and you can almost sing that verse with electric guitar

, it has nice sound to it

Tue Mar 02, 2004 12:24 pm by ShadowFire789

It's pretty good, it'll probably win her over.

hehe. How would I know? But it's pretty good. Not a "Just in my spare time" kind of thing. Good luck by the way.
____________________________
Ohhh! Beu-tiful! Preeety! How do I blow it up?

Edited by - ShadowFire789 on 3/2/2004 12:25:51 PM

Tue Mar 02, 2004 2:56 pm by Heltak

I fear for this angel

-~-~-~-~
There is no Silicon Heaven! But where do all the calculators go ?

You could no more evade my wrath... than you could your own shadow!

Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:07 pm by Leonhart

Come again?? Whats that suppose to mean?

O, BTW:

Plz no jokes, I am serious about this, so leave crap posts out of here.

Your post does not do much, does it now?

Edited by - Leonhart on 3/2/2004 3:24:35 PM

Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:09 pm by Eh_Steve

Nice one leon, she should love it. If not, she hates poets. Btw 78% of poets have diagnosed mental disorders, highest of all occupations.

I know a girl that looks like an angel. For two years we've been friends with no real feelings then one day I sat down at the lunch table and I thought: "Who is that? That can't be Erica, that's got to be an angel!" Now the sparks are flying and we're slowly nearing that point where friendship ends and love begins.

This has been another SpamSightful post by Eh_Steve.
Every 4 Seconds someone in the world opens a can of Spam. I just post it.

Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:21 pm by Leonhart

I do not think she hates poets, she liked the first poem I sent her (this one was from an website though

), so that should be no problem...I think

Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:33 pm by Eh_Steve

These are females we're talking about. Unpredictable... can't live with 'em, can't live without them.

This has been another SpamSightful post by Eh_Steve.
Every 4 Seconds someone in the world opens a can of Spam. I just post it.

Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:49 pm by H.Q. Victor

Print it out on some paper with a floral or other soft image background to give to her. That way she has a keep sake from you to enjoy and reminder her of you when you are not around each other.

Finalday

Habaq Mot / Aspazomai Thanatos / Capere Obitus... /Keith Green\ (1953-1983)

Edited by - Finalday on 3/2/2004 3:49:03 PM

Tue Mar 02, 2004 5:15 pm by Leonhart

hehe yup. I guess some fancy font and little decoration using photoshop would help

Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:17 am by zlo

Nice work, Leon! Hope she's worth it.

Wed Mar 03, 2004 3:17 am by kimk

uh-uh.. as good as the poem is, it'll definitely be better to write it using pen and your hand. its got a more personal touch to it, don't you think? i'd do that. i write my letters by hand, not keyboard.

but the poem is really good. all i do is run an analysis through them in english class, not write them. i'm crap at those kinda stuff. try come up with sommore!

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