Would somebody just give me a friggin'' hug already?!?

Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:36 am by Deviant

OK, so, Valentines day rots... guess my marital status... yeah, so, THIS story is the only one I have to base my V-Day experience on... listen up:

A friend of mine broke up w/ this girl a while back... I was there for it actually... she sorta did a "Girls Gone Wild" kinda thing to stay an extra hour, but that's another story. So, they were broken up. Well, he said he wouldn't get back w/ her, unless she got his name tattooed on her backside. So guess what happened Valentines day? Yep... he saw her in a tattoo parlor, and she got his initials and the chinese symbol for "togetherness" (!) tattooed right above her crack, ya dig? Now, this girl... this Jewish lawyer who was once the president of her college's femanist organization (yep).... and this guy... who can get anything on two legs... or four for that matter (except the cheetahs... they're just plain fast)... NOW, they're buying a house together! SEVERAL months away from each other, and in one days time there has been a branding and pretty much total commitment, despite the clearly dysfunctional nature of their relationship.

So, explain this to me... if these two otherwise strong, able, charismatic, handsome/beautiful people have to settle for each other, wtf kind of chance do I have! All I want is an equally freaky, long-haired, videogame obsessed asian woman... is that too much to ask? Apparently so. I mean, these two are such otherwise nobel people... ambitious, active, in shape, successful... enough anyway... but they seem doomed to a life of mutual degradation.

My past love life? A vampire turned born-again (I blame myself... the dark lord will not be pleased... though vampires ARE lame anyway), and an all out psychopath... don't get me started. Yeah, I know you have a story about some crazy chick... mine beats that, so don't bother. Since then, I've remained in a blissfully commitment free relationship w/ someone I have no intention of making a commitment to. BUT, I've grown tired of that... nearing 30... I desire a mate. Problem is, my town doesn't talk... everyone mills about minding their own business. The only people who do more than ignore you are over 50. So the dating scene is just ridiculous. Yeah, find a new town... great... now if only I had the money to move with, and the job to move to, I'd be set. I knew I never should have listened to those badgers...

So... errrr... who here has a sister, or perhaps a single mom and deadbeat dad? In the upstate NY area... just gimme your SS number and I'll find you, k? I've got caaaannnnnddddddyyy!!!!!

Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:40 am by freighter fighter

man, that would sound like a crappy movie

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams

Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:48 am by Deviant

It would beat Gigli.

Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:07 pm by Recusant

Wow, you've been gone a while!
And why must the special lady be asian? Does it matter?

Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:16 pm by Deviant

Well, not so much "need" as "want" there. Liking videogames... that one is a "need".

Mon Feb 16, 2004 12:19 pm by Eh_Steve

It was over so soon, I couldn't call and ask anyone over to read it with and the popcorn just finished. Wait, lemme go get it.....

Ok, I'm back. Alright, this message board is predominantly people from the UK and Australia (Though it is nice to see another American, this time an actual "Yank"

, so the likelihood of anything like that working out is about second to none. Anyway, my only suggestion is to try out those online dating things. (Are you a Yankees fan? 'Cause they just bought A Rod today. World Series next season!)

"And at least once an episode, EH STEVE will stop by to deliver his classic line: 'EH STEVE!'" - Strong Bad Homestarrunner.com

Mon Feb 16, 2004 1:06 pm by Deviant

Good point!

Note: if from Europe, she must enjoy travel.

A Rod? Oh wait, A-ROD... not "a rod" like "I'll whack you with this rod"... that's a person, isn't it? Anyway, I thought the Mets were our team, no?

Mon Feb 16, 2004 5:19 pm by mustang

Eh, as soon as I hit 25 all I seem to be able to catch for the past 2 years are single mothers, so count yourself lucky. Dinners for two that are interupted by screaming and breast feeding kinda kills the mood. Trying to find a fit looking bird over 25 without a husband, boyfriend or child is needle in a haystack stuff. It's hard work I tell ya.

Mon Feb 16, 2004 5:21 pm by Eh_Steve

@Deviant - Yes, A-ROD, aka Alex Rodriguez (sp?)
I dunno who our team is, I'm a Yankee at heart. Get more money off bets, though they're harder to find.

"Last words are for people who have not said enough!" - Karl Marx's last words.

Mon Feb 16, 2004 6:48 pm by Wolf_Demon

well if people would actually get REAL relationships, Mustang's life would be a whole lot better wouldnt it?

this is my world; it goes round and round and round
The wolfy types like a cow

Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:39 am by mustang

well if people would actually get REAL relationships, Mustang's life would be a whole lot better wouldnt it?

Damn straight, so everybody stop your whinging because my love life out craps the lot of ya!

Tue Feb 17, 2004 9:57 am by Arcon

EEEEVERYONS love life is ****, its why were in here 24 hours a day. My scheme for getting asian chicks into video games is to goto the source. Trip to japan baby! although i think im going to have to take "Tag-Along-Taw" with me

and i just KNOW he's gonna cramp my style.

As for getting a girl there, hmm? Learn to play a guitar.

Tue Feb 17, 2004 10:35 am by gromit

ok firstly, about your mate's "disfunctional" relationship, let me into a secret that your mom didn't tell ya......

.....ALL relationships are disfunctional....its not about that at all, its about finding the right person to be disfunctional with. I've been with my girlfriend for 10 years, we split up during that time for over a year after several EXTREMELY embarrassing and contraversial moments (don't ask), but we're happy together and we're marrying this year.

And as for getting a girl who's into video games...forget it...its a dream. But trust me when I say that half the fun of your future relationships will be based on the fact that your girlfriend DOESN'T like computer games, or stereos, or cars or whatever else yanks your chain. It helps sustain a relationship if you have individual needs/hobbies....opposites attract and all that....besides, it gives you something to do after you've had your most recent blazing row

Do you really want to meet a girl who can whoop your ass on every game under the sun??? Do you really think that you are gonna meet a girl who's into video games that doesn't mind letting you win?? DREAM ON!

I found "miss perfect" during my split with my gf 4 years ago. She was a stunning blonde, curvy in the right places, piercings in unusual and pleasurable places, video-game loving, nerd adoring, stereo dreaming, professional C++ programmer who liked to watch porn in her spare time and experiment with me and her best (female) friend. Sounds perfect right? Wrong! Its amazing how boring things become when you have everything....its nice to dream a little ya know? A lot can be said for a little corruption

And besides, she knew she was perfect, which isn't a good thing.

So my friend we're back to that irritating age-old fact of life...stop trying, the girl of your dreams will turn up when you least expect it.

Tue Feb 17, 2004 5:40 pm by Wolf_Demon

so its basically like a system of positives and negatives?
and they attract to each other....sound good
but of course WE would be the positives

this is my world; it goes round and round and round
The wolfy types like a cow

Tue Feb 17, 2004 6:08 pm by mustang

I found "miss perfect" during my split with my gf 4 years ago. She was a stunning blonde, curvy in the right places, piercings in unusual and pleasurable places, video-game loving, nerd adoring, stereo dreaming, professional C++ programmer who liked to watch porn in her spare time and experiment with me and her best (female) friend. Sounds perfect right? Wrong!

Still, if you'd like to slip this girl my email addy that'd be fantastic. Cheers!

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