bourgeois Butlins!

Butlins.... Isn't that a trailer/camping park thing?

no its not, Ed. it's possibly one of the worst British inventions/institutions ever - the holiday camp, where actually enjoying yopurself is secondary to be herded about and treated like proletarian scum, which of course you would be IF you went to Butlins. I spent almost every summer in a Butlins "somewhere in Britain.."

if you've ever seen Hi-de-Hi,, then that's what they were/are like. hellholes for the great unwashed. My mam and dad just used to chuck me and brother in to Butlins and leave us there with ten bob between us and expect us to enetertain ourselves all fookin' day. this would go on for two weeks while me fayther would go to the wrestling bouts, me mam go to the ballroom-dancing, while me and me brother were breaking into chalets and nicking piping to sell to the local kids so we had more money for the arcades. Oh yeh and mass on Sunday no matter what.

Butlins. what a dump. Me fayther used to always get a sticker and a badge with "we've been to.." whatever dam Butlins it was that year and stick em all in the back of his Anglia - like it was something to be proud of?

I went bl**dy mental when my wife booked us into flamin Butlins at Minehead when the kids were little, i said "are you bloody mad or what woman?" "oh but its paid for now.." "tough youve lost youre dam money we are NOT going slumming it at Butlins!"

We went for ONE day then left cos it was disgusting, as i knew it would be. British holiday culture? no ta I'll stick to the Amalfi coast thank you very much.

Sorry to laugh but that's a funny story.

Well the, how about here?. It's not the Amalfi coast but.... er.... it's got its own... er.... attractions.

that's pretty funkeh. been, have you?

No. I thought about lying and saying yes but.... No. I did stay in Montego Bay and hang out at Negril Beach, so to speak, once upon a far trimmer and fitter former self. Were I to try now, the locals probably would phone-in a walrus in distress call on sight of me.

i've been to Butlins, and i've seen some of the staff there (very sexy lasses) going round to certain villas, and coming out about 15 minutes later with their hair messy, then popping along to the another one, so on and so forth...

The girl who works at Centerparcs and got us the villa told us that these lasses are in fact 'earning some extra money' by being call girls! So basically their prostitutes on site!

Mind you, you wouldn't say no to some of them, phwoar! lol

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2 years ago I went camping to the isle of wight - the cheapest camp site we could find was tagged onto an old holiday camp. And when I say old...I mean OLD. This place was unbelievable, straight out of Hi-de-hi. I'm talking women walking around in curlers with rolling pins, ballroom dancing and a Ted Bovis style camp entertainer.

But the weirdest thing about this place was that it was now completely run down...there was something really eerie about it...plaster falling off the walls, dry rot setting into the chalets, the works. And the only people who go there nowadays can only be described by the Kentish term "Pikey". There were kids who looked about 6, sporting full body tattoos, 20 large semi-gold hoop earrings stuffed into one ear and playing with flick knives. Its got to be one of the weirdest places I've ever stayed at.

They all "adopted" us like pets. "Look at these weirdos, they can't even afford 9 carrot gold hoops for their ears". One night I had a 6 foot 10 ex-con skinhead from scunthorpe put his arm around me and explain how he likes to "protect his own" and "you're one of us now". It was like being initiated into the pikey mafia.

*shudder*

yeh but if you nip up to Reculver which is only a 15min drive for you, grommers, you'll find a run-down 60s style caravan park and seaside shops and amusements that hasnt changed since oh 1963 probably. Just on that little road up to the church by the Roman fort. You should take the Mrs for an afternoon out there sometime, chicks love it, and there's a proper arcade with one armed bandits and air hockey and push ha'pennys and waterfalls and stuff.

Lol, thats where I used to go in the summer when I was little, playing among the boulders and various bits and pieces of steel all over the beach looking for the feckin huge crabs that lived under them.
*sigh* happy times