> Number One Idiot of 2002
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in
> very
> upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
> reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
> no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed
> down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
> she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
> ants.
> I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
> emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with
> pride.
>
> Number Two Idiot of 2002
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> steal
> a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
> out of
> the plane and home. Shortly after they
> took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
> helicopter
> coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on
> the
> emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
> They
> are no longer employed at Boeing.
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2002
>
> A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
> Bank
> of America,walked into the
> branch and wrote . . . " This is a stikkup. Put all your muny in this
> bag." While standing in line, waiting to give
> his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
> write
> the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's
> window.
> So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
> After
> waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
> wasn't
> the brightest light in the harbor . . . told him that she could not
> accept
> his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
> slip
> and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip,
> or go
> back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "
> OK "
> and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in
> line
> back at Bank of America.
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
> anyway.
>
> Number four Idiot of 2002
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
> measured
> his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in
> the
> mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
> sent
> the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
> received
> a letter from the police that contained another picture . . . this
> time of
> handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Another sign (though
> this guy
> might be onto something worth thinking about ! )
>
> Number Five Idiot of 2002
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
> all of
> the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
> bag, the
> robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
> the
> shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
> cashier
> refused and said. "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said
> he
> was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't
> believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out
> of
> his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over
> and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in
> the
> bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
> promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
> robber that
> she got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
> This guy
> definitely needs a sign !
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2002
>
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> revolvers. The first one shouted . . . " Nobody move !" When his
> partner
> moved . . . the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need
> a
> sign, he probably figured it out himself.
>
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2002
>
> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> that
> he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
> some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
> head
> at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
> thief on
> the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window
> was
> made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape ( The
> store
> window is made of Lexan by GE). Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
>
>
> Idiot Number Eight of 2002
>
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> into
> a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at
> 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him
> down
> because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food
> order.
> When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
> available for
> breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Sign please.

Sometimes I think we are staggering... Sometimes Not.... Sometimes I think we are alone....