Here is my latest addition to the TLR humor collection...

* The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensively saved animals were released back
into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute
later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

* A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to
a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his
reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with
an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

* A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the
back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he
had been happily listening to his Walkman.

* Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the
pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence
and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And finally. . . . . . .

* Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Your day's not so bad, is it?