Thu Apr 10, 2003 8:43 pm by Leonhart
THESE ARE POSTS FROM OTHER JOKE TOPIC OF MINE THAT DISAPPEARED.
Okay, ya'll might not think it's funny because I am known for my geekhood. On top of that, those without a clear understanding of the English language will probably not understand it. That said here's my story.
My senior year in high school - at a very small, private, Baptist school - we had an Economics class. The administrator of the entire school was our regular teacher. Periodically, he would have the high school student advisor fill in for him because she was previously an Economics teacher herself. So, one day, we didn't have much to do and the advisor was teaching the class, so she went down the aisles and asked each of us what our plans were for college. She gets to one of my friends (we'll call her Pam) and asks what her plans are for college.
Pam says that she doesn't intend to go to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life and she has a lot of friends who are college-age and do not go to college and are doing okay for themselves.
The advisor asks, "What about your friends here in high school?"
Pam replies, "I don't have any friends here."
I look at Pam and say, "Hey!"
Pam says, "Oh, right, except Andrew."
My other friend (we'll call her Jane) echoes my reply.
Pam says, "Oh, and Jane, too...sometimes."
I, in my infinite geekhood, then make this (in my opinion) funny statement: "Sometimes? What is she? The vowel ' y ' ?"
Only Pam laughed because Jane, along with the other five people in the immediate vicinity, including the advisor, didn't get it. In addition, the other ten or so people in the class simply didn't hear it.
Eventually, Jane got the joke and we now periodically acknowledge her as "y."
If anyone doesn't get it, I will now explain. The English alphabet consists of 26 letters. Five of those are the vowels A, E, I, O, U. In the English language, the letter "y" is SOMETIMES considered a vowel to uphold the rule that every word in the English language must contain at least one vowel. This validates the words "sky," "fly," "fly," "sly," "rhythm," and so forth.
Yeah, I'm done.
"Mercy is the mark of a great man. ::stabs guy with sword:: Guess that makes me a good man. ::stabs guy again:: Well, I'm all right." - Malcom Reynolds, Captain, Firefly-class Starship "Serenity"
Leonhart
1st Lieutenant
posted 05-04-2003 19:30 CET
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Well that was not bad.
Now come on people don't be shy post some of jokes you know.
Well here is one of true stories again but this time i do not think it was an 8th grader.
It was movie time again but this time it was Jurassic Park.
As the movie finished teacher asks again if there are any questions, as always there is one:
"Mr. Brown I did not know dinosaurs existed today"
As the kid asks this question another kid laughs and answers:
"You idiot dinosaurs died hundreds of years ago".
For those who do not get this dinosaurs died millions of years ago.
AndrwTrvrs
Flight Captain
posted 05-04-2003 23:17 CET
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This one's a little off color. If anyone's offended by it, I apologize.
What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?
They both have little boys' pants half-off.
"Mercy is the mark of a great man. ::stabs guy with sword:: Guess that makes me a good man. ::stabs guy again:: Well, I'm all right." - Malcom Reynolds, Captain, Firefly-class Starship "Serenity"
Comont54
Lt. Commander
posted 06-04-2003 02:23 CET
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"After a number of attacks on hikers and campers in Alaska, the Department of Fish and Game released the following advisory:
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between Black Bear and Grizzly Bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper. "
and just one more, much longer but definetly worth it:
**M RATED**
**M RATED**
**M RATED**
"One day a kid was sitting at home waiting for his relatives to come over. He overheard his parents fighting with each other yelling "YOU BITCH" "YOU BASTARD".
Being so young, the kid had never heard those words before and asked his parents what they meant. They replied by saying "Bitch means lady and bastard means gentlemen". Satisfied with this answer the boy went to his room.
Then he heard the neighbors having sex. They were repeating the words "DICK and "CUNT" over and over and over. Again, the boy was curious and asked his parents what those words meant. Thinking fast, his mother said "Dick means coat and cunt means jackets."
Once again the boy was satisfied with the answer and headed to the bathroom, but his father was shaving and the boy had to wait. Fearing that the boy might wet himself, the father shaved faster. He went a little to quick and ended up cutting himself,"s***!!!!!" he yelled. "What's s*** mean daddy," the boy asked . The father, stuck for an answer said, "it means shaving cream."
The boy did his "business" and his dad went back to shaving. His next stop was the kitchen, there he saw his mother preparing the turkey. As she reached for a knife she ended up cutting herself. "AW f***!!", she yelled. "What's f*** mean mommy", the boy asked. "It means stuffing the turkey."
Finally, the guest arrived, the boy went to the door and said, "Hello bitches and bastards, may I take your dicks and cunts? Dad's in the bathroom putting s*** on his face and Mom is in the kitchen f***ing the turkey!"
"I Would Rather Die Standing Than Live On My Knees"
Edited by - Comont54 on 06-04-2003 09:26:52
NakedEric
1st Lieutenant
posted 06-04-2003 03:31 CET
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Those r lame
Leonhart
1st Lieutenant
posted 06-04-2003 05:13 CET
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Oh man that was a good one Comont54.
Ok peolpe lets hear some more I know all of you know at least one joke post it and do not be shy.
What are you tolking about NakedEric "Those r lame" I do not think so.
And why are you NAKED in middle of winter. I do not know for you but I am freaking freezing.
kimk
Commander
posted 06-04-2003 10:56 CET
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um.. heres one . . . a list of universities, i'm assuming they exist, who said reality isn't funny ? well, its a long one, but bear with it, it'll pay off. look for the odd one out.
Institutions of higher learning and/or research:
Auburn University.
Brown University.
Chrome Yellow University.
Neon Pink University.
Kelly Green University Fading to Chartreuse Around the Edges.
Northern Illinois University.
Southern Illinois University.
Eastern Illinois University.
Western Illinois University.
Northeastern Illinois University.
Northwestern Illinois University.
Southeastern Illinois University.
Southwestern Illinois University.
North-by-Northwestern Illinois University.
Almost Central But Just Slightly Eastern Illinois University.
Yale University.
Cole University.
Weiser University.
Kwikset University.
Harvey Mudd College.
Roger Mudd College.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd College.
My Name Is Mudd College.
King's College.
Queen's College.
Jack's College (formerly Knave's College).
Ten's College.
Ace's College.
Texas A&I University.
Texas A&M University.
North Carolina A&T University.
Tennessee C&W University.
Michigan R&B University.
New Jersey M&M University.
San Francisco S&M University.
University of Maryland Institute for Advanced Computer Science.
University of Northern Saskatchewan Institute for Primitive Computer Science.
Charles Babbage Institute for Mechanical Computer Science.
Governors State University.
Lieutenant-Governors State University.
Secretaries of State State University.
State Comptrollers State University.
University of Tennessee Space Institute.
University of Southwestern Arkansas Cosmic Realms Institute.
Elroy Jetson Space Magic Institute.
Lawrence Livermore National Labs.
Lawrence Berkeley National Labs.
Lawrence Olivier National Labs.
Lawrence of Arabia National Labs.
Lawrence Welk National Labs.
Argonne National Labs. *
Kryptonne National Labs.
Xenonne National Labs.
Radonne National Labs.
Concordia University.
Discordia University.
Misericordia University.
University of Wisconsin - Madison.
University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee.
University of Wisconsin - River Falls.
University of Wisconsin - Stout.
University of Wisconsin - Porter.
University of Wisconsin - Malt Liquor.
University of Wisconsin - Night Train.
University of Wisconsin - Everclear.
Purdue University.
Louis Rich University.
Hormel University.
Oscar Mayer University.
Drexel University.
Ethan Allen University.
Seidel University.
La-Z-Boy University.
George Washington University.
James Madison University.
Chester A. Arthur University.
Millard Fillmore University.
Spiro T. Agnew University.
J. Danforth Quayle University.
McMaster University.
McSlave University.
McTop University.
McBottom University.
Wright State University.
Wrong State University.
Altered State University.
Uncertain State University.
Out of State University.
McGill University.
McScale University.
McFin University.
McTail University.
McOperculum University.
McNeese State University.
McNeffew State University.
McAuntt State University.
McUnccle State University.
Seton Hall University.
Seton Vestibule University.
Seton Bathroom University.
Seton Bedroom University.
Sam Houston State University.
Sam Walton State University.
Sam I Am State University.
Son of Sam State University. *
South Dakota School of Mines and Technology.
Colorado School of Mines.
Wyoming School of Ditches.
Montana School of Holes in the Ground.
BU.
BYU.
NYU.
BYOB.
Clemson University.
Jebson University.
Abnerson University.
DaisyMaeson University.
Clarkson University.
Loisson University.
Jimmyson University.
Stephen F. Austin State University.
Steve Austin State University.
Bionic Woman State University.
Tufts University.
Locks University.
Bald Spot University.
Underarm Hair University.
Tulane University.
Forlane University.
Atelane University.
Baruch College.
The Weizmann Institute.
Hofstra University.
Brandeis University.
Carasso University.
Emory University.
Nail Clipper University.
Polish Remover University.
Fordham University.
Chryslerporkshoulder University.
Generalmotorspigsfeet University.
Universite' de Montre'al.
Universite' Laval.
Universite' Trudeau.
Universite' Mulroney.
University of Central Florida.
University of EPCOT Center.
University of Disney World.
University of Busch Gardens -- The Dark Continent.
Bowie State University.
Butcher State University.
Ginsu State University.
Swiss Army State University.
Angelo State University.
Giuseppe State University.
Mario State University.
Cosa Nostra State University.
Mitsubishi Information Technology Labs.
NEC Research Institute.
Nintendo Super Mario Brothers (tm) Advanced Technology Research Center.
Florida Atlantic University.
Florida Pacific University.
Florida Indian University.
Florida Arctic University.
Carnegie Mellon University.
Carnegie Cucummber University.
Carnegie Zucchinni University.
College of William and Mary.
College of Bonnie and Clyde.
College of George and Gracie.
College of Frankie and Johnny.
College of Jimmy and Rosalyn.
College of Ronnie and Nancy.
College of Andy and Fergie.
Cornell University.
Wheatell University.
Barleyell University.
Buckwheatell University.
Dartmouth University.
Dartnostril University.
Dartrectum University.
Duke University.
Viscount University.
Baronet University.
Knight University.
Commoner University.
Ferris State University.
Roller Coaster State University.
Florida International University.
Florida National University.
Florida State University.
Florida County University.
Florida Local University.
Florida Neighborhood University.
Florida Backyard University.
Florida Garage University.
Grand Valley State University.
Small Valley State University.
Piffling Little Valley State University.
Large Flood Plain State University.
Hunter College.
Fisherman College.
Camper College.
Backpacker College.
Lehigh University.
Lelow University.
Leinbetween University.
Colgate University.
Crest University.
Gleem University.
Close-Up University.
Pearl Drops Tooth Polish University.
Nova University.
Duster University.
Pinto University.
Super Beetle University.
Old Dominion University.
New Dominion University.
Dominions, Principalities, and Powers University.
Mark-Jason Dominionus University.
IBM T. J. Watson Research Center.
IBM T. J. Hooker Research Center.
IBM J. T. Kirk Research Center.
IBM Stupid Roles Played by William Shatner Research Center.
Southern Methodist University.
Southern Baptist University.
Primitive Baptist University.
Holy Roller University.
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Daisy-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Delphinium-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Chrysanthemum-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Oklahoma Panhandle State University.
Oklahoma Hitchhike State University.
Oklahoma Drink Night Train and Eat Out of Dumpsters State University.
Prentiss Normal and Industrial Institute.
Prentiss Abnormal and Industrial Institute.
Prentiss Abnormal and Interior Decoration Institute.
Grinnell College.
Smilell College.
Smirkell College.
Dalhousie University.
Sandboxie University.
Playgroundequipmentie University.
Simon Fraser University.
Simon Magus University.
Simon Templar University.
Simon Legree University.
Kent State University.
Winston State University.
Marlboro State University.
Camel Wides State University.
College of Wooster.
College of Jeeves.
College of Pinker.
College of Fink-Nottle.
Villanova University.
Bossa Nova University.
Chevy Nova University.
Slippery Rock State College.
Crocodile Rock State College.
Jailhouse Rock State College.
Rock Around the Clock State College.
Go Crawl Under a Rock State College.
Smith College.
Jones College.
John Doe College.
John Q. Public College.
Sarah Lawrence College.
Sarah Bernhardt College.
Sarah Jane Smith College.
Sara Lee College.
Sweet Briar College.
Sweet and Sour Briar College.
Twice Cooked Briar College.
Szechwan Briar With Hot Bean Curd and Crispy Noodles College.
Grambling State University.
Smroking State University.
Drrinking State University.
Creighton University.
Cardboard Bachson University.
Shipping Contaigneron University.
Mailing Tyoobon University.
Worcester Polytechnic Institute.
Teriyaki Polytechnic Institute.
Soy Polytechnic Institute.
A-1 Steak Polytechnic Institute.
Heinz 57 Steak Polytechnic Institute.
Case Western Reserve University.
Case Eastern Loquacity University.
Case Southern Charm University.
Case Midwestern Folksiness University.
Tuskegee Institute.
Hornegee Institute.
Antleregee Institute.
Oberlin College.
Oberkellner College.
Oberkommando College.
Oberbuergermeister College.
Millikin University.
Rutherferd University.
Schroedingor University.
Einsteen University.
Bowling Green State University.
Bowling Alley State University.
Bowling Pin State University.
Bowling Jacket State University.
Bowling Shoes State University.
Bowling Trophy State University.
Bob Jones University.
Bob Hope University.
Bob Barker University.
Bob Newhart University.
Bob Evans Restaurant University.
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs University.
Open Bible College.
Closed Bible College.
Open Just a Crack Bible College.
Open Weekdays Nine To Five Bible College.
Moody Bible Institute.
Pensive Bible Institute.
Peevish Bible Institute.
Depressed Bible Institute.
Paranoid Schizophrenic Bible Institute.
Stark Raving Mad Bible Institute on Antipsychotic Drugs.
Liberty Baptist College.
Equality Baptist College.
Fraternity Baptist College.
French Revolutionary Baptist College.
presently, my world is upside down, so if u do not mind, u'll have to tok to my a$$
kimk
Commander
posted 06-04-2003 11:15 CET
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once again, another long list of funny ones..
Adam And Eve Virus - Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.
Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Woody Allen Virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
America Online Virus - Every disk that you use in your computer will be
erased and re-programmed with America Online software.
AT&T Virus - constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better service
than the other viruses.
AT&T Virus 2 - every three minutes it complains that it's sick of circles.
Birthday Virus - Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Turns your hard disk drive into a 3.5" floppy drive.
Jerry Brown Virus - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
Pat Buchanan Virus - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
George Bush Virus - Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old
computer works on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it
maintains the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be
prudent at this juncture.
George Bush Virus 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new
files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.
Chicago Cubs Virus - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
the reviews, but you still love it!
Cleveland Indians Virus - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
Bill Clinton Virus - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not
sure what it does.
Bill Clinton Virus 2 - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful
government spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an
airplane for a $200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus - Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 MB.
Johnny Cochran Virus - Constantly gloats on how fast it us when compared to
the Marcia Clark Virus.
Congress Virus - Overdraws your disk space.
Congressional Virus - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Congressional Virus 2 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
problem.
David Duke Virus - Makes your screen go completely white.
Elvis Virus - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
across rural America.
Federal Bureacrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of the computer.
Jane Fonda Virus - Attacks your hard drive's FAT (File Allocation Table).
Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
motherboard.
Gallup Virus - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
error).
Al Gore Unix Virus - Whenever you inquire about one of your environment
variables, it shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist
message concerning the future of the variable.
Government Economist Virus - nothing works on your system, but all your
diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
Billy Graham Virus - When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the
screen.
Gridlock Virus - Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between
your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable to
Senate.' Never gets any work done.
Tonya Harding Virus - Turns your batch (*.BAT) files into lethal weapons.
Health Care Virus - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Nobody can find it.
Michael Jackson Virus - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
Michael Jackson Virus 2 - Preys on child processes.
Joke Virus - poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names!
Ted Kennedy Virus - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
Jack Kevorkian Virus - Enables irreparably damaged files to delete
themselves.
Jack Kevorkian Virus 2 - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
LAPD Virus - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases them in "self-defense."
Left-Wing-Drivel Virus - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and
sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
Imelda Marcos Virus - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
MCI Virus - Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
MCI Virus 2 - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much
for the AT&T Virus.
MCI Virus 3 - Every three minutes it asks another true/false question.
New World Order Virus - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people mad
just thinking about it.
Nike Virus - Just does it!
Richard Nizon Virus - Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus." You can wipe
it out, but it always makes a comeback.
Ollie North Virus - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
Ollie North Virus 2 - Plays a patriotic *.WAV file while it shreds your
files.
PBS Virus - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
H. Ross Perot Virus - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears,
but with less effect.
H. Ross Perot Virus 2 - Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are
used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its development.
H. Ross Perot Virus 3 - Activates every component in your system, just
before the whole thing quits.
Planned Parenthood Virus - deletes all files less than 9 months old.
Politically Correct Virus - prefers to call itself an "electronic
microorganism".
Ponzi Virus - It logs onto your bank's computer and transfers $1 into the
accounts of the owners of the last 10 computers it was on. It then attaches
itself to the next 10 items of mail you send.
Paul Revere Virus - This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C:.
Dan Quayle Virus - Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4
pm, 6 days a week.
Dan Quayle Virus 2 - Prevents your processes from spawning any child without
first joining into a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in
files stored on your disk.
Dan Quayle Virus 3 - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
can't figyour out watt.
Terry Randle Virus - Prints, "Oh no you don't," whenever you choose, "Abort"
from the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message.
Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
Reagan Reagan Virus 2 - Puts your computer to sleep for eight years. When
your computer wakes up, you're three trillion more dollars in debt.
Right-To-Life Virus - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks
you if you've considered the alternatives.
Right-To-Life Virus 2 - Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
old it is. It you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
counselor about possible alternatives.
Right-Wing-Hardliner Virus - Won't allow any changes on your system, but
keeps saying that things will get better as soon as it takes over the
Whitehouse.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Sears Virus - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
supply, and a set of shocks.
OJ Simpson Virus - It claims that it did not, would not, and could not
delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.
Sprint Virus - Periodically runs sound file of a pin dropping.
Star Trek Virus - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.
Paul Tsongas Virus - Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."
Ted Turner Virus - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Texas Virus - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Tipper Gore Virus - When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a
warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
Viagra Virus - It turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive.
Warren Commission Virus - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
Oprah Winfrey Virus - First appears on system as a 120 KB file, later swells
to 200 KB, then returns to its original size. Periodic printouts appear to
keep you aprised.
presently, my world is upside down, so if u do not mind, u'll have to tok to my a$$
kimk
Commander
posted 06-04-2003 11:21 CET
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heres yet another one about the errors on a comp...
...Error
Code Meaning
----------------------------------------------------------------
2201 You can't run that program on this machine.
2203 That won't work no matter what you do.
2204 That won't work without a costly upgrade.
2205 That used to work but doesn't anymore.
2206 You can't get there from here.
2208 Too much memory.
2209 Path obstructed by bugs.
2212 Command can only be given in edit mode.
2218 Insert boot disk sideways.
2221 User banging on keyboard.
2222 Machine thrown through window.
presently, my world is upside down, so if u do not mind, u'll have to tok to my a$$
kimk
Commander
posted 06-04-2003 11:23 CET
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hm.. i'm gonna try a picture this time...
presently, my world is upside down, so if u do not mind, u'll have to tok to my a$$
Edited by - kimk on 06-04-2003 11:24:28
Edited by - kimk on 06-04-2003 11:26:08
Leonhart
1st Lieutenant
posted 06-04-2003 19:08 CET
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Long but not bad, not bad at all.
Fear Factor
Major
posted 06-04-2003 19:40 CET
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Kim, you need the url of the image, NOT the page. That does not look like an image URL at all. To find an image's url, right click on the image and click properties. You will see Address (URL): .....
And here's another clue: image urls ALWAYS end with .jpg or .gif, the most common of web image format.
Read carefully what I posted in the other thread. Here, practice with my sig:
Right click it and try to find the url.
Aku. Soku. Zan. (Kill. Evil. Instantly.)
Locutus
Lt. Commander
posted 06-04-2003 21:55 CET
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well I'm not gonna put jokes on this site,.
Why you ask,... because they are all rude and inapropriate
and should not be on this site
Leonhart
1st Lieutenant
posted 06-04-2003 23:35 CET
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Hey I did not ask for your opinion if you do not like what it says don't read it period.
kimk
Commander
posted 07-04-2003 13:30 CET
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ahh... thanks loads... so thats how you do it.. well, i got the URL of the site, and put the name of the pic at hte end.. ok.. i'm gonna do a trent.. "thanks for the heads up"
testing...
presently, my world is upside down, so if u do not mind, u'll have to tok to my a$$
Locutus
Lt. Commander
posted 07-04-2003 22:07 CET
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I just said I don't know any clean jokes..... oh wait.. here's one
there was a family on the world that was at first very rich but kept getting poorer
by the day. One day the husband comes to his wife and says: you should learn to cook so we can fire the cook saves a lot of mony, then his wife says "you should learn to f**k so we can fire the gardener"
Lord Darth Locutus-
--Embodiment of the Sith--
If all you have to fear is fear itself, then be very afraid of me
Leonhart
1st Lieutenant
posted 07-04-2003 22:48 CET
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Good one Locutus.
Well I gess it is my turn now
To warn you, it is translation from other lenguage so it might sound lame.
One day Bob decided to ride his bike.Bob was a poor man and his bike was missing most of the stuff.Couple blocks from his house a police officer stops him and starts to write ticket.
"Well look here no lights you have to pay $20, no brakes thats extra $30",says policeman.
"Ok, officer but could you please tell me how much will my friend Tom pay he does not even have a bicycle".
Edited by - Leonhart on 08-04-2003 03:12:04
Huffer
Captain
posted 08-04-2003 04:49 CET
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I shamelessly stole this from another website.
An engineering student sees his fellow engineering student on campus with a new bicycle. He asked where he got the new bike.
The friend says “ I was walking in the park an this beautiful girl rides up to me on a bike, takes off all her clothes and says to me “take what ever you want” so I took the bike.
The first guy says “nice choice” and his friend says, “yea the clothes wouldn’t have fit me anyway.”
Now remember[! First you pillage and THEN you burn[!
Leonhart
1st Lieutenant
posted 08-04-2003 04:52 CET
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No need for shame it is a joke afterall and a good one too.
kimk
Commander
posted 08-04-2003 10:52 CET
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nice one... well, i shamelesssly stole all the jokes i put up..
presently, my world is upside down, so if u do not mind, u'll have to tok to my a$
May strong survive and weak perish
Edited by - Leonhart on 10-04-2003 21:46:41
) several times, but no, she didn't turn back into the frog. So, what to do, he had to eat the dish as it was.