Could this be true?

Fri Mar 28, 2003 1:04 pm by Wizard

'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
Wednesday March 19, 2003

By CHAD KULTGEN

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

Join the army against the Chaos

Edited by - Wizard on 28-03-2003 13:13:33

Fri Mar 28, 2003 1:12 pm by skymouse

Wher'd you get this story???? It's excellent

Oh to earn 350mill, I could buy an island......like hawaii

Skymouse

Fri Mar 28, 2003 3:55 pm by Godlike Entity

wow either Wizard made this up, or this guy is a complete nutcase i serioulsy doubt that 200 years in the future people will be time traveling

_____________________________
Peace through superior firepower.

Fri Mar 28, 2003 4:41 pm by Lev Arris

Would be cool if it were true but i doubt it.

I'm a little bit torn in two sometimes. I'm a sceptic by nature, you know, especially when it comes to hair-raising stories like this one. On the other hand i believe there are things which could be possible even though we keep rejecting them as pure science-fiction. I'm like Mulder and Scully in one person: i'm sceptic but at the same time "I want to believe". It's weird.

-------------

"Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles
which every man of every faith can embrace. " - Murphy MacManus

Edited by - Lev Arris on 28-03-2003 16:43:29

Fri Mar 28, 2003 5:16 pm by Wizard

I did not made it up. I'm not like that

Fri Mar 28, 2003 5:40 pm by AndrwTrvrs

Well, IF it's true, it COULD work around that whole paradox theory. I mean, assuming that not EVERY action has an impact on EVERY other action (which is a big assumption, but just go with me on this), then by traveling back in time to a point prior to his existence he could make millions and not change the cause of his travel back in time. It wouldn't necessarily cause a paradox because his millions of dollars now, 200+ years before his existence, would not effect his reason for traveling back in time to make money because he'll die now long before he's born in the future, therefore, in the future, he would still travel back in time when that time comes.

Obviously, as I'm just 18 in college, not taking any astrophysics courses or anything to acredit my conclusions, this is simply my thought on the situation, which I have not completely formulated as it's not quite 4 PM when my brain starts to actually function rather than just coast in neutral and all.

"Mercy is the mark of a great man. ::stabs guy with sword:: Guess that makes me a good man. ::stabs guy again:: Well, I'm all right." - Malcom Reynolds, Captain, Firefly-class Starship "Serenity"

Fri Mar 28, 2003 5:47 pm by Lev Arris

I imagine that every action creates a new universe of it's own so that a time traveler who changes the past doesn't actually change his own past/fate but creates a new branch on the tree of universes which would move along parallel to his original universe. This would circumvent the whole problem of paradoxes.

-------------

"Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles
which every man of every faith can embrace. " - Murphy MacManus

Fri Mar 28, 2003 5:58 pm by Ugnaught

For this guy's story to be true, he would have had to have access to stock market records from 2003 and the best source of that information is newspapers. If that's the case he also would have read about his plan failing and him being thrown in jail.

If a guy was smart enough to build a time machine and smart enough to create a master plan to take advantage of the stock market, then he should be smart enough to create a plan that wouldn't get the SEC's attention.

How did he expect to get the $350 million back to 2256? If I walked into the bank with a cashiers check for $350 million from 1750 the tellers would die from laughter. You would have to turn the $350 million into some kind of commodity that you could sell in 2256. Unless your time machine was built out of a barge you wouldn't be able to transport $350 million worth of gold. You'd have to find a really expensive pound for pound substance. The most expensive substance I know of is tritium, but you can't just walk into a nuclear weapons plant and buy $350 million worth of tritium.

I guess it's possible he didn't want to go back to 2256 but instead planned to use his money to live like a king in this century. If that was his plan he should have gone a little slower and not been so suspiscious. Sure it might have meant putting off building the harem for a few months, but that's better than being in jail.

The only true possibility is that some smart guy in 2256 built the time machine and researched the stock market and then wanted to get rid of this dummy so he sent him back in time knowing full well he'd get caught and then no one would believe him.

Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!!

Sat Mar 29, 2003 1:59 am by Ali-Bubba

LOL, who said he had to take it back with him? He could have set up a trust fund for himself to mature when he returned to his 'present' time. All proceeds payable to himself. Whoops, just revealed my master plan!

Sat Mar 29, 2003 8:12 am by Tachyon

It's fake. For one thing, look at the source (no, not Wizard). Second, even if you somehow knew exactly which stocks to invest in, in ten days you couldn't hope to make 350 million dollars. There simply isn't enough time for that kind of exponential growth. Thirdly, the we've been in a bear market for quite some time now, and the only sharp upturnings I've seen were a few days since the war started, and obviously the whole thing was done before this happened. Fourth, that guy from Quantum Leap would stop him from doing any of this

Sat Mar 29, 2003 12:45 pm by Fear Factor

Nay, Scott Bakula does not deal with rogue time travellers. I think you mean Time Trax or Time Cop.

Aku. Soku. Zan. (Kill. Evil. Instantly.)

Sat Mar 29, 2003 5:02 pm by Freelancerace

Marty fetch my delorean im going to 2256!!!!
but no seriously i think when all things probable are proved wrong only the impossible must be the truth. remember there are NO records of him before he came to our time!

Also another hairball in tive travel. just because you **** time doesnt mean you sift loacation. so if you time traveled from lets say from a winter month to a summer month you would be transported into dead space. or if you only moved a day you might end up in the next town not right where you started but yet in the exact same place in the universe not on a planet nesisarily
I got this from a teacher at my middle school (UBER GENIOUS) who took astrophysics and advance time distortion theory and taught 8th grade physics. why the hell with that kind of knowledge would he work at a lowly middle school?

Sat Mar 29, 2003 6:04 pm by AndrwTrvrs

He did run into an evil chick-version of himself, remember. She went through making bad things happen. Anyone remember that? Yeah, I know I'm a geek.

"Mercy is the mark of a great man. ::stabs guy with sword:: Guess that makes me a good man. ::stabs guy again:: Well, I'm all right." - Malcom Reynolds, Captain, Firefly-class Starship "Serenity"

Sat Mar 29, 2003 6:34 pm by Saiyan

Jean Claude would have whooped his ass good.

Sat Mar 29, 2003 8:48 pm by Number04

What ever. I say believe him, keep him talking and make a FOX special about it.

Important Message

You are browsing the archived Lancers Reactor forums. You cannot register or login.
The content may be outdated and links may not be functional.

To get the latest in Freelancer news, mods, modding and downloads, go to
The-Starport