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Revised and new "Sara" story

Tell us about your adventures, amazing stories, wow us with your wit...use your imagination, tell us some of the greatest moments in your life.

Post Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:37 pm

Revised and new "Sara" story

I am in progress with a total rewrite of the sara story. Enjoy.

Post Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:41 pm

The pulsating buzz of the telephone ringing at three in the morning jarred Olof awake from fitful sleep. Nightmares plagued him, making him toss and turn all night long, but the phone ringing brought out the worst of his fears.

“Hello” His mind instantly alert.

“May I speak to Olof Whitaker please?”

“This is he.” The pit of his stomach began tightening.

“Mr. Whitaker, my name is Stephen Harris, I am with Quantas Airline, and we wanted to let you know we where able to get your daughter on a flight and that she will be landing in about two hours at LAX.”

Olof bolted upright at the mention of his daughter. His fears returning, but so did hope. His brow began to form with beads of sweat. His daughter was really alive.

“How is she, is she ok?” He was frantic to know what had happened to his little girl.

“Sir, I er, well I’m not at liberty to say. The information was not passed on to me, only that they had put her on the flight and when she should arrive. You might try to contact the authorities in Sydney to find out the particulars and what care she will need when she arrives.”

“What’s the flight number she’s coming in on?” Olof reached for a pen and paper from the night stand by the bed.

After hanging up with the man, Olof turned beside his bed and wept, pouring out his heart in prayer. He cried out to God, his heart breaking. He wanted to know why this had happened to his daughter. He prayed for her life, her health and her spirit. He also prayed for forgiveness for his own actions and thoughts. His heart drove him on and his weeping grew louder until it woke his wife.

Ashley rose wrapping her house coat about her and came around the bed and knelt beside her husband. As she put her arms around his shoulders, she felt his sobs shake his frame. She knew his anguish over the last few days had been intense, but thought he had finally reached peace once Sara had been located alive.

“What is it Olof, what’s the matter?” Ashley had not heard the phone ring nor the conversation that followed. She did know he was troubled about their daughter and had wanted to go get her and bring her home as much as she did, but she was following the Spirit to wait. He poured out his heart to her, and together they prayed and sought God’s peace and comfort. They had always took any problems to the Lord together, and this time was no different. Peace came in time, peace and comfort.

Ashley rose from beside her husband and headed to the kitchen. She needed a cup of hot tea, and so did Olof. She set the kettle on the stove and let it heat while she got out two of the green tea bags. Her mind was occupied with her own doubts, but she did not want to burden Olof with them right now. He had enough on his mind and she did not want to add to it. The sound of water running told her Olof was in the shower. Good, it would relax him some. After retrieving two mugs, she picked up the cordless phone and hit a family speed dial number.

The phone was answered on the third ring. “Hello?” The voice was groggy. Nikki always did like to sleep in on the weekends.

“Nikki, its Mom.”

“Mom?, what time is it?”

She really must be tired. The east coast was four hours later than they were.

“It’s three in the morning here, so seven where your at.” Ashley wiped her eyes of sleep and continued. “There’s been word of Sara, she’s coming in on a flight this morning and should be here around Nine. Can you catch a flight back today?”

Nikki was alert now. “Let me look online and see what I can get, how is she doing?”

“Your father got the call about half an hour ago, but they didn’t say anything beyond the flight and when she would be here. Your father is really worried. We all need to be together, hurry home as soon as you can honey.”

“I will Mom, and tell Dad I’m praying for him and Sara.” Nikki was wide awake now.

Family was all important to the Whitaker’s, as was faith. They stood together through the good and the bad, but drew greater strength from each other in difficult times.

“I will honey, see you as soon as you get here, and keep your cell phone with you, I’ll let you know of any changes or where we’ll be.”

Ashley slowly lowered the phone back on the charger. Her heart breaking, and she did not know the answers to this crisis yet. Her faith was being challenged just like the others, but she would never give up, no matter what. God had never let her down yet.

Olof, freshly changed from his shower, was still drying his hair as he came into the kitchen.

“Who was that?”

“I called Nikki to let her know Sara was coming home. She’s going to catch the earliest flight she can."

Post Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:42 pm

“This is going to mess up her studies and delay it at least a quarter,” Olof was troubled about it, he wanted her to be finished and back home soon. “but I’m glad she can get away.”

Ashley walked over to her husband and wrapped him in a tight hug. Now it was his turn to hold her and comfort the tears that began to flow. Her daughter was hurt, and she couldn’t be there to help, she was alone from family.

“Ashley, God is bringing her home to us, and she’s alive. He will see it through, we have to stand on his promises.”

“I know, I know.” Sadness strained her voice.

The kettle whistled and she released her hold and moved to turn it off. Olof set a hot pad down on the counter as he turned. Then slid the mugs over. The tea would be good, calming. They both took their mugs and walked out onto the back porch. A hint of an orange sunrise just on the horizon. They sat in their rockers and sipped the tea. If God was big enough to create all this beauty, then he was big enough to watch over one of his creations.

The simple act of sitting there together, Olof taking Ashley’s hand in his, was comforting to them both. Simple pleasures had always been their choice.

They were dressed and heading out the door at 9:30 that morning. Their daughter Nikki was away, but was trying to arrange a flight home from the east coast. The whole family, sometimes spread out, were closing ranks now to stand strong in this dark hour. The airline had telephoned ahead and made security arrangements so that the family could meet the flight at the gate. The Transportation Authority readily agreed and had mobile transportation so the family could be ferried to the gate and back. Their daughter could be moved to a waiting ambulance from the gate area.

There were other families with loved ones returning on the flight and were waiting in small groups in the gate waiting area as arrangements had been made to secure a portion of the concourse from the public and media. It was truly a first to block media presence from such a news worthy event. The nation had been given a great deal of news coverage of the event and its aftermath. Security in the US had been raised to the highest level for a week before it had been lowered back down a level.

As Olof paced the gate area, Ashley thought he was going top wear a path in the flooring. She had tried to get him to sit, to pray, but he was too keyed up to do so now. His daughter was coming home to him, his baby girl.

The flight information sign at the gate changed its information to say that the flight had just landed and was taxing to the gate. Passengers would be able to disembark in fifteen minutes.


The Quantas 747 taxied slowly to the gate, as if reluctant to bring bad news. Ground crews began to hook up umbilicalis and other feed lines. Olof watched though the waiting area glass as the pilots went through their post flight check list. The gate control personnel rolled the ramp dock to the aircraft and opened the door for the passengers to depart, but it looked like no one was going to leave. Then he saw a Gurney being moved down the gateway. Five minutes later, it was rolled out of the aircraft. A woman was wrapped in an airline blanket and appeared asleep. Medical equipment surrounded her, monitors and an IV. He wondered who that was. Her family must have been worried sick.


As the Gurney was rolled into the concourse, Olof paled. He realized it was Sara, his Sara, lying there. He could not hold back his tears. What had happened to her. He ran to her, pushing aside all others waiting for their family to deplane. Reaching out with his hand, he gently caressed her cheek. Her face bore the marks of a black eye and other deep abrasions. Her hair was in a tangled mess, pulled over to one side. He wanted to roar, shouting his pain to the world, but Ashley stepped to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist and held him tightly.

A man stepped out of the ramp dock and to the side of the Gurney and spoke softly to them.

“Mr. Whitaker, I’m Dr. Philip Stephens. I have been the attending physician for your daughter since she was brought to the hospital where I work. She is in a coma and has been for the last two days.”

The words brought Olof’s attention back from his despair.

“Is she going to be ok doctor?”

The doctor’s expression bore a troubled look even as he tried to maintain a hopeful front. He really hated times like these.

“To be honest, Sir, there is no way to know if she will come out of the coma. That said, I would not advise giving up all hope. Even with low odds, there is still a chance. It will require stimulation, words, things that are familiar around her to draw her back.”


Edited by - FINALDAY on 8/3/2007 5:43:53 PM

Post Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:48 am

This is excellent Finalday. Just give me the name and addy of the scumbag that did this. I'll go and give him a short visit

Post Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:42 am

The sterility of the room was what hit him first. His impression was that she looked so tender, so unprotected, so defenseless, and it ached in his heart. Abraham Whitaker stood in disbelief. His daughter, so recently returned to him alive, lay in a coma. She injuries to her body were extensive, and he hated seeing her like this. Her face was badly bruised, and she had a cast on her right arm and right ankle. The Doctor said she also had several fractured ribs.

Pain racked his heart, tearing him inside. He pulled up a chair close to the bed and began praying. His heart crying out to God, to the physician who can heal all things. He prayed for his own strength as well. He was close to losing it all. But his family, they needed his strength now, more than ever.

Ashley opened the door, noises from the nurses station invading the peace, then quieting as the glass door closed. Privacy in intensive care was non-existent. She had just come from the waiting room and put her cell phone back in her purse. She pulled another chair over to sit beside her husband. She laid her hand softly on his shoulder, a healing touch for his heart.

Two hours had gone by and all Abraham saw was the blip on the heart rate monitor. It’s stead raising and lowering, showing stead pace. He longed for it to pick up, to show signs of Sara awakening. Anything that could be a hope of having her with them.

The door opened and the Resident Doctor came in with a chart in his hand. He nodded at Abraham, but moving on to check on his patient. He looked at the monitors of heart rate and breathing. He took her pulse, but there was no change from the monitor. He pulled out a small flash light and lifter her right eyelid and checked for dilation or contraction of the iris.

He turned, composing his thoughts before speaking, “Mr. Whitaker, your daughters condition is unchanged. It may be some times, maybe days before there is any change or response form her. Maybe you should go home and get some rest. Someone will contact you if there’s any change.”

“Doctor, I have no intention of leaving my daughter. I don’t know how, but I do know she will be coming back to us. I intend to stay here and be here, waiting.”

Abraham’s faith, was being restored. He was not giving up hope. Ashley would be taking a break soon, then return so he could as well. A Whitaker would always be here with Sara.

The Doctor nodded at the resolve, and left the room.

Nikki hung up from talking to her mother. She shook off any remaining sleep and rose from her bed. Her roommate was still asleep. Susan had come off a night shift at a local eatery and was dead to the world. She dressed in her work out cloths and sat at the table she and Susan shared and opened up her laptop.

It woke from it’s sleep mode and the network indicator showed full wireless connection. She opened the browser and logged into the airline web site to see what flights would be available. This trip would cost a little, but compared to the life of her sister, it was more than worth it.



Edited by - FINALDAY on 8/5/2007 11:49:28 AM

Post Mon Aug 06, 2007 10:17 pm

Abraham?? :O

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