The original postings were posted correctly but for some reason, the 3rd act appeared before the 2nd a little later, not at first though. Strange. Anyway, I reposted the three acts below, every word accounted for. Hope you enjoy it.

Spectre

Edited by - Spectre-Man on 19-09-2003 06:05:32

this might be the funniest thread EVER seen on these forums. Encore encore!

Edited by - Stinger on 19-09-2003 05:04:58

Spectre Man!! IT IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE!
MORE!
MORE!
MORE!

I have to say that it is the longest post i have ever read with rapt attention! Bloody brilliant!

Hell - musta taken you an age to type this out - but well well worth it!

Actually, I did it all just today. Truth. Took me four or five hours.

Spectre

EDIT: I did it because Fear Factor locked my other thread.

Edited by - Spectre-Man on 19-09-2003 08:02:08

REPOST ORDER, somehow it got screwed up.

_________________________________
ACT I
SCENE I

A story of most uncommon valor. Mortals and Moderators joined in the struggle against a mischievous sprite. A fairy who dotes on people's fears and exploits their weaknesses for his own pleasure.

{Enter Chips, Rubicon & Spectre.}

Rubicon: Hail to thee! Hail to the horders of power!
Chips: Be kind sir. We do well to you.
Rubicon: I care not for the apprehensions of others from my speak.
Spectre: You do at times speak too harshly.
Rubicon: And to what do you ascribe your views, you punk-idiot?
Spectre: I know no other examples then that which comes from your own mouth.
Rubicon: I see a certain logic on your tongue.
Spectre: Merely a taste of that to come.
Chips: A trifle truffle of argument, dear SIR, and I do intone that with the utmost mockery.
Rubicon: Savour the quiet of present day, for methinks that the knowledge of the magic cloak will be swallowed by the hungry.
Chips: I fear the day, that malicious men do sink their teeth into such devastating knowledge.
Rubicon: Would it not be fair that all should have the magic cloak?
Spectre: I think not, for that weapon would alter the very fabric of our nationstate to a form of anarchy from those who would abuse that most formidable sorcery.
Rubicon: Sorcery?! You spout your lordship over such sorcery and deny it to others!
Spectre: I have no lordship, I am humble in my convictions.
Chips: Honour is the very nature of my soul, I lord nothing over others.

{Enter Wassup. Uba, the mischievous fairy, hides himself nearby.}

Wassup: What day, good sirs?
Spectre: How good you may ask is that day, when anarchy lays on the horizon of the next?
Wassup: What talk is this?
Rubicon: Talk of making all fair.
Chips: No, of making all chaos.
Rubicon: I talk only of spreading my self-gotten knowledge to those whom you will not.
Wassup: Sirs, sirs, this is my thread on which you tread. Tell me, what disturbs you?
Spectre: The magic cloak, a frightful reign by evil men.
Rubicon: No, t'is A way to nullify evil men.
Wassup: I have such knolwedge of the magic cloak. Many a pauper and warrior have asked me for this knowledge and to all of them I say nay.
Rubicon: Then we bow to your uber-sorcery and will pay ill-homage to your hording of that which will set all free.
Spectre: This freedom, as you say, will wrongfully bind the souls of the well-humoured.
Rubicon: Lord Wassup, you have domain over us and with our hearts we will rebuke you.
Chips: You do ill by your mouth.
Wassup: Enough of this. Rubicon, you do not know the consequences of that which you ask. I once thought as you, I did give power to the powerless. It only made more people powerless in the face of such an extraordinary weapon.
Rubicon: All hail the hording Lord Wassup, Lord of the Thread, Lord of the Magic Cloak, we bow to you in your uber-sorcery.

{Rubicon leaves.}

Spectre: A man of strong opinion, but little foresight.
Chips: We shall rue the day if ever such knowledge was released again into the world.
Wassup: Indeed. What news of you?
Spectre: No news, I fear.
Wassup: Nothing at all?
Spectre: Nary a thing to mention, but I still seek to accomplish a task of some importance. Until I achieve such accomplishment, I feel not at ease.
Wassup: I pray thee feel fulfilled soon. And you Chips, how fare you?
Chips: Well. However, I worry if Rubicon should bestow to the world Pandora's box a second time.
Wassup: He is free to do so, but not here in our fair town. If such a day comes, the quiet hero Stinger will set things right. But pray thee there shall never come the day. Alas, I am low in strength, I go now to bed.
Spectre: Have ye a merry rest.
Chips: To bed with you, we will keep watch.

{Wassup, Chips and Spectre leave. Enter Uba.}

Uba: What's this I hear? Arguers do strife over the magic cloak. Oh what sweet possibility! Sweet, sweet torrid chaos. Like granulars of sugar, one small grain so much pleasure! This sprite, this fairy does enjoy the flavour of this opportune torment. I shall sprinkle over Lord Wassup fairy dust so that in his slumber he can bestow to me his knowledge of the magic cloak. To this interrogation he will not even be aware! And he shall sleep through the tirade that I will bring to this fair town. My mark is set and much is to be done, but first I must transform so as to not be recognized. Away with me, for great perils of mischief is ahead!

{Exit Uba.}
_________________________________
SCENE II

{Enter Chips and Spectre.}

Spectre: This weary night does torment me.
Chips: How so?
Spectre: I speak of boredom. I know not what to do.
Chips: Oh, here comes Wolf Demon hence, perhaps he has ideas for consuming time.

{Enter Wolf Demon.}

Wolf: How art the affairs of nightwatch, good sirs.
Chips: The town doth well, too well for any stories to bestow upon you.
Wolf: No news?
Spectre: None to be found, neither by search nor excavation.

{Enter Uba dressed as a human.}

UbaNuba: Good night, gentlemen.
Chips: Where from have thoust come?
UbaNuba: Do not we all come from some where?
Wolf: I don't recognize thee, prove yourself.
UbaNuba: To whom do I speak?
Wolf: Wolf Demon am I.
UbaNuba: And you sir are?
Chips: Chips be my name.
UbaNuba: Is it now?
Wolf: You sir, do not stir my blood, by keeping from us your name.
UbaNuba: There's no harm nor folly here. My name is UbaNuba, I am but a man hence from where I come to where I go.
Chips: And where might be that from where you come?
UbaNuba: You are too clever for me, I did not understand thee.
Chips: Where did you come from?
Spectre: And where is it you go?
UbaNuba: Where I once was, I called it "here" and as I was here I must go "there."
Wolf: You leave me with a foul taste.
UbaNuba: Do you not care for my sweet disposition?
Chips: A disposition that can turn most sour I suspect.
UbaNuba: Nonsense, look to Rubicon for ill-temper and ill-manners.
Spectre: Know you Rubicon?
UbaNuba: Only by reputation and seeing him in the square.
Spectre: Saw you Rubicon in the public forum just now?
UbaNuba: That I did, he did walk with great haste.
Wolf: Was that Lord Wassup's thread from which you came?
UbaNuba: No, sir. I dare not walk upon might of Lord Wassup. Who am I to think such a thing?
Wolf: Very well. I grow weary of you, be gone.
UbaNuba: Pleasant night, gentlemen. {Aside} A most ill-pleasant night I am sure it will prove to be.

{Exit UbaNuba.}

Chips: We best be on the lookout for Rubicon.
Spectre: Look to the sky. There is a strange wind coarsing through our fair city. We might have some adventure this very night.
Wolf: Let us check out the square.
Chips: What do my eyes unfold!
Wolf: Great mischief has been caused here.
Spectre: The magic cloak, its mysteries and secrets revealed! A great horror will plague this town, perhaps the entire world!
Wolf: Who has bred this to be?! I will tear out the heart of this purveyor of chaos!
Chips: I'll away to fetch Master Stinger, there are dastardly works afoot on this night.

{Exit Chips.}

Wolf: I will seek out the culprit.
Spectre: I shall raise the watch in the Threads of Lore. Away, and good luck.
Wolf: Luck be with you as well.

{Exit Wolf Demon and Spectre.}

_________________________________
ACT II
SCENE I

{Enter Uba having shed his human exterior.}

Uba: A strike! A strike! A palpable strike into the heart of that quiet town! Now, that I again am fairy, I can spread the plague with ever increased agility. To the Threads of Lore I abound where my legacy will be felt.

{Exit Uba, enter Wolf Demon.}

Wolf: What manner of garb is this? I recognize this as the man from where he did come to where he did go. But from where to where exactly I do not know. I must find this man. If it be Rubicon, on his heart will I feast this night. Let me take up this shed costume, perhaps I may make use of it. But I guarentee this fiend will not use it once more, at the very least this night.

{Exit Wolf Demon.}
_________________________________
SCENE II

{Enter Chips and Stinger.}

Stinger: Why hast thou risen me?
Chips: There, scrawled upon the very heart of our town the most dangerous of knowledge.
Stinger: The magic cloak. You have done well by bringing this to my attention. Seek this criminal out and expose him. I will remove all trace of his efforts wherever he makes his mark before this town's inhabitants awake. When thou hast identified him, I will apply the deadly blow and end his rampage.
Chips: How will you deal this deadly blow?
Stinger: With this mighty laserpen and tablet PC, I will ban him from this existence.
Chips: Why a pen?
Stinger: Because it is mightier than the sword.
Chips: Away I go to the Threads of Lore. I shall meet thee here when I have news to report.
Stinger: Luck be with you.
Chips: And you.

{Exit Chips}
_________________________________
SCENE III

{Enter Uba spraying his markings all over the thread.}

Uba: What formidable words these be, a secret unleashed to which only destruction can result. So much power in a few words, I laugh at the simplicity of causing much woe. More strife caused by me than the misunderstandings between Juliet and her Romeo.

{Enter Spectre unnoticed.}

Spectre: I do spy an illicit being causing much mischief in this thread. But I do not recognize him as human. A fairy he must be. Hark! Fairy, do no wrong here.
Uba: Tis too late, for much wrong is too easy to create and I have too many times repeated my formidable words.
Spectre: What be your name?
Uba: Why dost thou need my name?
Spectre: Surely, to be remembered for causing such destruction, your name must be known.
Uba: To be heralded or to be mocked? Either will pleasure me, so I will bestow my name on thee. Uba be that name. Uba, a great merry fairy, be that me.
Spectre: Hark! Raise the hero Stinger! A culprit there here be!

{Enter Chips.}

Chips: Stinger will be shortly here! What story does unfold?
Spectre: Alas--
Uba: Alas, two minions of the town have come to stop my torment, but are unable to preclude my devious nature as their nature is too weak to stop mine.
Chips: Stop you we will. We are diligent and will see you dead!
Uba: Your bravery is not enough, for I know thee. Spent many a days prowling tbe Calgary lands as did you methinks. You were not always this Chips, that you say you are now.
Spectre: What is this I hear? Have you shed yourself of a prior life?
Chips: He is only trying to spread confusion among us. It is of no importance.
Uba: With a smile, away, I go. More fret to spare!

{Exit Uba.}

Spectre: The fairy goes hence.
Chips: Praythee, did you recognize him?
Spectre: No, but he did pronounce his title to be Uba.
Chips: I don't recognize that name.
Spectre: With certainty, he recognized you.
Chips: As I say, tis not important.
Spectre: Perhaps not, but it may provide clue to his true self. I'm not above believing it could be Rubicon or perhaps another posing as all these characters shown to us. And you may know him from your previous life.
Chips: I will ponder it. But for now, to Stinger, I will tell of this episode.
Spectre: I shall continue my search through the Threads of Lore.
Chips: Good, now I go.

{Exit Chips and Spectre}

ACT III
SCENE I

{Enter Uba.}

Uba: Those fools, those interlopers, do they think they can seek me out? More scribbles shall I add to these Threads of Lore. They will never rid my mark on this fair town!

{Enter UbaNuba.}

UbaNuba: Hark, patron spirit. Hast thou lost something?
Uba: What wretched trickery is this?
UbaNuba: Vile fairy I call you to task. This be your costume, by which you deceived us. But now I have obtained posession of it so that you may not hide again among our people.
Uba: Dear UbaNuba, my former persona, what be your real name?
UbaNuba: Tis I, the Wolf Demon who will devour the puny heart of this fairy before me.

{Enter Spectre.}

Spectre: What strange goings-on. There be two culprits?!
UbaNuba: No, I be Wolf Demon, I found this facade from whence this fairy left it.
Spectre: How didst thou take command over a fairy costume and its mystical properties?
UbaNuba: Any fairy device must have the proper password to be of ability to use it.
Spectre: Was this fairy's password "PASSWORD"?
UbaNuba: Nay, more inane than that. T'was "UBANUBA".
Uba: So my mortal appearance is forever shed. Be that may, you will not have such fortune on any more of my sprite properties.
UbaNuba: I don't need such fortune. Prepare to be gutted!

{Uba and UbaNuba clash. Stinger and Chips enter.}

Stinger: Who be the fiend?
Chips: I recognize both the fairy Uba and the man UbaNuba. Either could be our foe.
Stinger: Then I must make a choice for this deadly blow.
Chips: Make the choice wisely, good hero.

{Stinger waves his pen and down goes UbaNuba.}

Spectre: No! That be Wolf Demon, your friend.
Uba: A hard lesson for one to steal a fairy's device. Stinger, you have me known, but you have not ended my game. So I flee, for now.

{Exit Uba.}

Stinger: Oh woe is me, what disfavorous result have I caused?
Chips: Is Wolf Demon gone forever?
Stinger: Nay, I merely banished him from this world. But it will take time to rectify this confusion. He will be restored, I promise thee.
Spectre: What is to be done about this spry little fairy running rampant through our town? He has made known the secret of the magic cloak in many of the Threads of Lore.
Stinger: Removed, I have, many of his misenthropic markings. We need find him doing his scribblings so that I may deal the deadly blow to he, the true enemy of our town. Go now, all of you, seek him out. We shall not allow this to continue another night.

{Exit all.}
_________________________________
SCENE II

{Enter Uba.}

Uba: What a merry chase! From thread to thread do we race. And them trying to put me in my place. It is not meant to be. Because their attempts take no toll on me. For I am a clever and fiendish fairy.

{Enter Chips.}

Chips: Hark! Call to arms! The fairy is here!
Uba: Go away you vile person! I am merely delighting in the extortion of all of your sanity. No harm nor fowl. To that as it may, here I bestow fowl. Thou art all ****s of the worst persuasion, not that it would take any persuading to convince me so.

{Enter Spectre}

Spectre: This pixie is everywhere! What hast he said about us. Mine hope is that t'was nice like daisies and lemonade. But I best think that tis not the case.
Chips: He has called us all ****s.

{Enter Stinger}

Stinger: You vile wretch, taste the mighty tip of my tablet pen.
Uba: To destroy one's enemy, thou must catch him first!

{Uba makes his escape.}

Chips: This will continue until either he or we succumb to exhaustion.
Stinger: Drastic measures must be taken. I must away to the fairy land and take his life essence from the source.
Spectre: Can it be done?
Stinger: It is a tough journey, but it must be done. Stay on his path, where ever it may lead.

{Exit Stinger}

Spectre: Chips, together we must go to the next Thread.
Chips: Lead on.

{Exit Spectre and Chips}
_________________________________
SCENE III

{Enter Spectre and Chips}

Spectre: I have not seen neither hide nor hair of the fairy for quite some time.
Chips: Has Stinger slain the fairy's life essence so soon?
Spectre: His markings no longer appear, but the wind still blows a sly breeze. The moon is higher in the sky and the tides lower, but by the moonlight I see not evidence of Uba's return.
Chips: I think your earlier prediction may be right, Rubicon is the intelligent foe hidden in disguise.
Spectre: Quiet, here approaches Rubicon.
Chips: How coincidental,

{Enter Rubicon}

Rubicon: What strange deeds have been committed on this fine eve?
Chips: Know you not?
Rubicon: Wherefore would such knowledge be known by me?
Chips: Perhaps you are the doer of sly deeds riding on the sly breeze from thread to thread.
Rubicon: Please, sir, do tell for what you accuse me of?
Chips: Were it not you under false identity that posted such banned writings about the town as you described you would enjoy doing?
Rubicon: It was not I, I say.
Chips: You are not a person of maleable appearence that thou can take numerous forms?
Rubicon: Praythee, I cannot do such things.
Chips: Was it not you graced our town with your irritations?
Rubicon: It was not I, I repeat.
Spectre: If I may interject fine Chips. After much discourse with this Rubicon, he does strike me as far more intelligent than this fairy by the name of Uba. I may have been wrong in my earlier surmise that he was our fiendish fairy.
Chips: Spectre speaks well of you, despite your quarrels of the past. I will trust his judgement, be gone with you. Get thee to your abode. And come not into the streets lest we take you for our enemy,

{Enter Uba.}

Uba: Did you think me gone? You will never be rid of me!
Rubicon: I stand here as proof that I am not that fairy.
Uba: You were a useful ruse, but as all ruses are they are bested eventually.
Chips: So who are you sprite of mayhem, expose your true nature.
Uba: Alas, that I will never do. Where is your quiet hero? Is he not here to protect the town from my printings?
Spectre: There may be a way to best you yet. Your life essence is exposed, a soft spot for mighty Stinger's pen.
Uba: My life essence? What dost thou speak of?
Chips: Your IP address.

{Uba falls to the ground. Stinger enters.}

Stinger: There lies the fallen fairy of tonights wicked deeds.
Spectre: Frankly, I was hoping for something a little more dramatic.
Stinger: Uba's life force has been extinguished by my mighty pen. No longer can he return by use of his home fairyland essence.
Chips: Is he dead.
Stinger: Tis misfortune that one cannot kill a fairy, he is banished from this town and this existence forever more. The secret of the magic cloak is safe, but the sly and wicked always find ways to return or to plague others.
Chips: But why must that be so?
Stinger: This, I do not know.
Spectre: Ours is not to reason why, but to fly or fry!


CLOSE CURTAINS

This is excellent! We will have to publish it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

ok, i am easily humored, but this is just to great keep up the good work spectre. o, and i did a spell-check for you, ill send a revised version by email

Knowledge is security... anything else, well... good luck

It is well that good and just men did banish the evil fairy. I applaud you, good sirs. T'was a deed well done.

Kaiten

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove any doubt.

A tale of much treachery and bravery. Nothing less to be expected by Spectrespeare himself. "Applause"

I'm pleased all of you liked it. Please spread good word of it through the forums, because I'd like to know my time was well worth the effort.

Render, if you're to send anything via email to me, then take out the -nospam from the address. Second, if you are a yahoo account, I won't receive it whatsoever. If you are yahoo, send it to the same address only at yahoo.com (again take out the -nospam).

I wish I had spell check on this computer, only my lap top does, but I do all my net surfing with this one. I did that whole thing with Notepad, it was a real bugger to keep straight in my head where to find everything.

Spectre

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAH!!! ROLLING ON THE FING FLOOR, LAUGHING ME FING ASS OFF!!! Oh man that was good! I gotta join the "UbaDogsBo**ocks Hate Club"
Ahh, now that is original, soooo original..... Way to go, way to Fing go indeed..... hehehehe.....

Bein an Outcast is about doin things you wanna do: Kill, Terrorise, Murder, Destroy, Smoke Cardamine, ya know, normal stuff.....

THAT WAS FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!
ROLLING ON THE FOOL LAUGHING MY ASS OFF WHILST PEEING IN MY PANTS!!!!!

DUDE I AGREE THIS SHOULD BE PUBLISHED!!!!

I LOVE IT!!!
I LOVE IT!!!

I'M FAT YOU'RE FAT!
SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN IN TEN MINUTES!


Edited by - ):Wolf_Demon on 20-09-2003 00:58:38