captians log stardate XYPDQ

we have been dispatched to the Gamma Quadrent to settle a dispute over planetary defense mechanisms. apon arrival we were greeted by errie breathing sounds and a ship being held in position and shaking violently. we thought que was up to more of his mischief but then overheard a radio transmission: "i find your lack of faith disturbing". we observed a klingon bird of prey uncloak and opened fire on them, but a band of space cadet ewoks undocked from the planet and attacked our starboard engine. we then witnessed a band of rapiers fly in and an obviously intoxicated pilot with the callsign "maniac" begaqn making nonsensical comments to his commander, "lt blair".

it was not until much later that we heard warf and jordy struggling. we came down to investigate and found jordy with a tv remote in his hand and warf struggling to tear it from his grasp. we looked accorss the room to see an old fashioned surround sound home entertainer system. on it was a picture of an odd green man saying "luke, you must learn control"